


The Body Remembers

by Simplydesires



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angsty Angery Jon, Death takes a toll on Jon Snow, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Jon is bisexual, M/M, Ramsey is a warning on his own, Sad anxious Sansa, Satin is just trying to help to broken people heal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-16 11:31:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15436119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Simplydesires/pseuds/Simplydesires
Summary: A tale of sexual healing and overcoming trauma through love, sex and candor.





	The Body Remembers

“I don’t like the way she looks at you, Lord Commander,” I said after closing the door to Lord Snow's solar. I still felt the heat of her gaze when I had passed her on the railing on my way to the Lord Commanders solar. 

“It is doesn’t matter. There are more important things to worry about,” Lord Snow said as he looked out the window, but I saw the the slight flush of his cheeks all the same. 

“It does matter. She wants you. And I don’t trust her.” I said squaring my stance in preparation to meet the Lord Commander’s ire before adding a belated, “Ser.”

Lord Snow’s head whipped quickly to meet my gaze his eyes glinting in annoyance but his voice was quiet, “Satin, I appreciate your concern, but may I remind you, that it is not your job to advise me.”

I tilted my chin up further, “I meant no disrespect, my lord, but I disagree. How she looks at you and—and how you look at her—does affect my ability to be your steward.” 

Lord Snow tilted his head slightly and sucked in his cheeks before small click of his tongue escaped with his breath. When he spoke next his voice was flat, “And why is that, Satin.”

“I wouldn’t care if you had her—if she were a normal woman, my lord. But she is not a normal woman.” Lord Snow continued to stare at me, his face stone, but his shoulders were stiff.

I took a deep breath uttering my treason, “And if she had you, my lord, she would control you—just like she controls Stannis. And if she controlled you, she would control the Watch—and—and—you—the men—you are not very popular as it is after—after Hardhome and playing King arranging marriages—between a noblewoman and a wilding no less! I believe if you take up with the red witch, my Lord—your Watch will end—sooner rather than later. 

Lord Snow blinked and his next words hissed through his clenched jaw, “Is that a treat, Satin?”

I rushed toward the Lord Commander and stopped by the corner of his table. “No, no, no, no. Never my Lord. I—I—only want to serve you. But I can’t serve you if you are dead.”

Snow looked me up and down assessing the truth of my words and after a long moment of starring me in the eyes, he let go of the breath he was holding and his body slumped on his chair, like a puppet who had lost his strings. He was staring out the window again. 

He was distant when he next spoke, “You see the truth of it. But I am not Stannis.”

“No, you are not.” I took another breath and stepped closer to him hoping he would not call for my head for what I was about to say. “But you are a man who—who has not had a woman in a long time.”

Lord Snow’s head whipped again to meet my gaze, his nostrils flared, his eyes angry once more. “What of it?”

I clenched my fists as I felt sweat start to pool in my palm. But I continued anyway. _You are mad. But if this is the only way to keep him alive, and the rest of us alive—then so be it._

“You need—her charms would have less effect if you had—if you had a bedmate, my Lord.”

Lord Snow’s mouth opened to give the obvious protest of, “There are no women at the Wall,” before he closed it again, his eyebrows furrowed briefly in confusion before they scaled his forehead in alarm as his eyes widened in comprension of my proposal. 

He scanned my body once more lingering on my shoulders and sweeping over my face before he quickly stood with his chair between us. “You are a man of the Night’s Watch and my steward. It is not right! Go!—Go now. And we will never—ever—speak of this again. Gods know I should have dismissed you the moment you entered the room. I knew you were up to no good. Leave.”

I took a step back, but I held my ground. “You want her. I am not woman—but I can su—”

“Enough,” he stalked past his chair and charged into my space in attempt to push me on my heels and back me out of the solar. I heard my knees crack as I dropped to the floor forcing him to stop short and back quickly into the corner of the table. Then I grabbed him high inside his thighs with both hands, bracketing his sac. I looked up at him and squeezed when I met his gaze. 

“Let me help you lord, Lord Commander.”

His nostrils flared and he tried to pull away from my grasp, but I squeezed tighter and I saw the bulge in his pants twitch. 

“No.” And I suddenly found myself pushed to the ground with Lord Snow’s boot on my chest as he looked down at me with eyes dark with sadness. I searched his face for disgust or pity—but found none. 

“Not like this Satin—not in this life.” And I felt a rush of cold wash over me as he opened the door and left. 

I blew out the breath I was holding. As the terror fled my body, I laughed at my audacity to proposition the Lord Commander.

_Seven hells, it was worth the risk. You never know—a quick bob and swallow could be the difference between life and death._


End file.
